Ever Get Stuck in a Step?

I heard someone once share that their sponsor told them that if they ever found themselves stuck in a step (which oftentimes happens with the 4th and 8/9th steps...), that while the steps were meant to be worked in order, that she should always know that she was free to work any step that contained a "1" in it, even if it wasn't "in order".

She also noted that Step 11 has two "1s" in it and that means that this particular step could be doubly worked at any time no matter where someone was in terms of working the 12 steps!

I've always found this helpful to me. I know that I personally did not work the steps in order. I did begin at Step 1, in fact, I think I began that steps a full 10 months before I walked into my first meeting of AA: it began the moment I realized that I truly couldn't stop drinking! And I continued that step as I walked into these rooms and probably focused primarily on that one step for at least the first full year of sobriety.

But I didn't really go next to Step 2, I jumped ahead to Step 9 and started trying my best to repair some of the damage I'd inflicted on my wife of 20 years as a result of my drinking and all my fruitless attempts to "control and enjoy" my drinking. That attempt, well-meaning as it was, probably caused more damage than healing....but I stumbled through it and eventually realized what I was doing (as a result of some great guidance from my sponsor...after the fact as is common for me!) was not appropriate or helpful. I then returned to Steps 2 and 3 and so on....

It took me about 3 1/2 years to completely work through the Steps, I was really in no rush as the obsession to drink had left me two days before coming into AA and the slower and gentler way was working for me. I did develop a routine "maintenance program" (Steps 10, 11 and 12) from very early in my sobriety --- I began to deal with current day harms and making amends as needed (Step 10); developing a daily series of meditation/prayer exercises (Step 11) that I could do while commuting to work and doing whatever I could to help another alcoholic (Step 12) and share whatever amount of the message that I could carry at that point in time. I've kept that daily maintenance program, which includes many meetings each week and blogging here as often as I can. My life is full and I rarely feel "stuck" anymore.

Take care!

Mike L.