Friday, November 26, 2010
Taking Advantage of Richo's "Fear Affirmations"
I'm sitting here at the hospital while my eldest daughter is having her first child in a nearby room. My wife and son-in-law are there with her. I'm sitting here alone in the waiting room, dealing with various fears as I wait for my first grandchild to be born.
As I drove here, just as Thanksgiving Day was coming to a close, I took advantage of the 1/2 hour drive to to the hospital to recite a series of fear affirmations that I found at the end of David Richo's wonderful book, When Love Meets Fear. I'd memorized all 156 of these affirmations several weeks ago because I knew as soon as I read through them the first time that they were going to become another tool of mine to deal with life's ups and downs, and in particular, fear. Reciting them aloud when I was in the car by myself helped put all sorts of fears in a place where they didn't seem to overwhelm me or take me out of the moment that I'm in right now.
When I got to the hospital, I decided that rather than watch TV or read, I would use my laptop to type out these 156 affirmations related to fear. Again, I found that going through these affirmations again helped me stay centered and calm. Certain affirmations seemed to strike me as right on target this morning.
While this might violate some copyright of David Richo's I'll beg forgiveness from him should that be necessary: Here are my recollections of Richo's fear affirmations (I've bracketed [] any modifications or additions to his words -- I oftentimes modify the words of something I've memorized just to make it a little more "mine" or more personal):
1. I trust my true fears to give me signals of danger.
2. I admit that I also have false fears and worries.
3. I feel compassion toward myself for all the years I’ve been afraid.
4. I forgive those who hypnotized me into unreal fears.
5. I suggest now to myself, over and over, that I am freeing myself from fear.
6. I have fearlessness to match my fear.
7. I trust my powers and resourcefulness as a man.
8. I trust my abundant creativity.
9. I trust the strength that opens and blooms in me when I face a threat.
10. I believe in myself as a man who handles what comes his way…today.
11. I know how to rise to a challenge.
12. I am more and more aware of how I hold fear in my body.
13. I stop storing fear in my body.
14. Now I relax those holding places.
15. I open my body to joy and serenity.
16. I release my body from the clench of fear.
17. I relax those parts of me that hold on to fear the most.
18. I let go of the stresses and tensions that come from fear.
19. I let go of fear based thoughts.
20. I let go of basing my decisions on fear.
21. I stop listening to those who want to [export] their fears into me.
22. I let go of finding something to fear in everything.
23. I let go of fear and fearing and believing that everything is fearsome.
24. I let go of the primitive ways I have of catastrophizing: e.g., the fear belief: it will always be this way!
25. I am more and more aware of my instant reflex fear reactions.
26. I accept that I have habituated myself to a certain level of adrenaline.
27. I admit that I oftentimes choose the adrenaline rush that comes with the dramas of fear and desire.
28. I forgo this stressful excitement and choose sane and serene liveliness.
29. I let go of the obsessive thoughts about how the worst may happen.
30. I trust myself always to have an alternative.
31. I see the humor in my fears.
32. I see the humor in my exaggerated responses to unreal dangers.
33. I find a humorous dimension in every fear.
34. I find a humorous response to every fear.
35. I play with the pain of fear.
36. I smile at my scared ego with tough love.
37. I am convinced of my abilities to handle situations and people that scare me.
38. I am more and more aware of how what happens or has happened is being faced, integrated or released.
39. I have self-healing power AND I seek and find support from outside sources.
40. I have an enormous capacity for rebuilding, restoring and transcending.
41. I am more and more sure of my abilities.
42. I am less and less scared by what happens, by what has happened, by what will happen.
43. I trust myself.
44. I trust the uncanny timing that I keep noticing in my life.
45. I love how I awake, or change, or resolve, or complete at just the right moment.
46. Nothing forces me; nothing stops me.
47. I let go of any fear of nature.
48. I let go of my fear of natural disasters.
49. I let go of my fears of sickness, accident, old age and death.
50. I cease being afraid of knowing, having or showing my feelings.
51. I let go of the fear of failure and of success.
52. I let go of the fears behind my guilt and shame.
53. I let go of the fear of aloneness or of having time on my hands.
54. I let go of the fear of abandonment.
55. I let go of the fear of engulfment.
56. I let go of the fear of closeness.
57. I let go of the fear of commitment.
58. I let go of the fear of being betrayed.
59. I let go of the fear of being cheated or robbed.
60. I let go of the fear of giving, receiving; beginnings, endings; comings, goings; scarcity, abundance; saying no, saying yes.
61. I let go of the fear of any person.
62. I let go of the fear of loving.
63. I let go of the fear of being loved.
64. I let go of the fear of losing: losing money, losing face, losing freedom, losing friends, losing family members, losing respect, losing status, losing my job, losing out!
65. I let go of the fear of having to grieve.
66. I keep letting go; I keep going on.
67. I let go of my paranoia.
68. I give up my phobic rituals.
69. I let go of my performance fears.
70. I let go of my sexual fears.
71. I let go of my fears about my adequacy as a parent or child; worker or manager; partner, [lover] or friend; [sponsor or sponsee].
72. I let go of the need for control.
73. I acknowledge control as a mask for my fear.
74. I let go of the need to be right, to be first, to be perfect.
75. I let go of the belief that I am entitled to be taken care of.
76. I let go of the fears about the 5 conditions of existence:
78. I drop the need for or the belief in a personal exemption from the conditions of my existence.
79. I acknowledge my present predicament as a path.
80. I trust a design in spite of the display.
81. I let go of more than fate can take.
82. I appreciate how everything works out for me.
83. I appreciate the graces that everywhere surround and enrich my life.
84. I find an alternative always exists behind the apparent dead end of fear.
85. I open myself to love, to people, to events.
86. I accept the love that awaits me everywhere.
87. I feel deeply loved by people near and far, living and dead.
88. I feel loved and watched over by my higher power.
89. I believe I have an important destiny, that I am living in accord with it, that I will survive to fulfill it.
90. I let myself feel the full measure of the joy I was meant to feel: the joy of living without fear.
91. I let fear go, I let joy in.
92. I let fear go, I let love in.
93. I let fears go and I expand my sensibilities.
94. I am more and more aware of others fears, more and more sensitive to them, more and more compassionate toward them.
95. I am more and more acceptant of all kinds of people
96. I enlarge my circle of love to include every living being and I show them love.
97. I am more and more courageous in my program of dealing with fear:
99. I let go of my defenses.
100. I defend myself.
101. I am non-violent.
102. I am intrepid under fire.
103. I am a hero: I feel pain in my life and am transformed by it.
104. I am undaunted by situations and people that threaten me.
105. I let people’s attempts to menace me fall flat.
106. I give up running from a threat.
107. I give up shrinking from a fight.
108. I show grace under pressure.
109. I stop running; I stop hiding.
110. More and more of my fears are becoming healthy excitement.
111. I meet danger face to face.
112. I stand up for a fight.
113. I take the bull by the horns.
114. I walk the gauntlet.
115. I put my head in the lion’s mouth.
116. I stick to my guns and hold my fire.
117. An automatic courage arises in me when I face a threat.
118. I dare to show myself as I am: afraid and courageous.
119. I hereby release the courage that has lain hidden within me.
120. I am thankful for the gift of fortitude.
121. I let go of hesitation and self-doubt.
122. I am hardy in the face of fear.
123. I have grit, stamina and toughness.
124. I take risks and always act with responsibility and grace.
125. I let go of the need to be different.
126. I let go of the fear of others expectations.
127. I cease being intimidated by others anger.
128. I let go of the fear of what might happen if others do not like me.
129. I let go of the fear of false accusation.
130. I let go of the fear of doing it his, her or their way.
131. I acknowledge that behind my excessive sense of obligation is the fear of my own freedom.
132. I let go of the horror about disapproval, ridicule or rejection.
133. I dare to stop auditioning for people’s approval.
134. I dare to give up my act.
135. I give up all my poses, pretences and posturings.
136. I dare to be myself.
137. I acknowledge that behind my fear of self-disclosure is a fear of freedom.
138. I dare to show my hand, to show my inclinations, to show my enthusiasms.
139. I let my every word, feeling and deed reflect me, as I truly am.
140. I love being found out: that is, caught in the act of being my authentic self.
141. I explore the farthest reaches of my identity.
142. I live my life according to my deepest needs and wishes.
143. I let go of the need to correct people’s impressions of me.
144. I stop being afraid of my own power.
145. I am irrepressible.
146. I draw upon the ever renewing sources of lively energy within me.
147. I am great hearted and bold spirited.
148. I dare to give of myself unconditionally, and…
149. I dare to be unconditionally committed to maintaining my own boundaries.
150. I open myself to the grace to know the difference.
151. I fling open the gates of my soul.
152. I set free joy, till now imprisoned by fear.
153. I set free love, till now imprisoned by fear.
154. I honor and evoke my animal powers, my human powers, my divine powers.
155. I let true love cast out all fear.
156. I face fear like the Buddha; I am the Buddha in the face of fear.
As I drove here, just as Thanksgiving Day was coming to a close, I took advantage of the 1/2 hour drive to to the hospital to recite a series of fear affirmations that I found at the end of David Richo's wonderful book, When Love Meets Fear. I'd memorized all 156 of these affirmations several weeks ago because I knew as soon as I read through them the first time that they were going to become another tool of mine to deal with life's ups and downs, and in particular, fear. Reciting them aloud when I was in the car by myself helped put all sorts of fears in a place where they didn't seem to overwhelm me or take me out of the moment that I'm in right now.
When I got to the hospital, I decided that rather than watch TV or read, I would use my laptop to type out these 156 affirmations related to fear. Again, I found that going through these affirmations again helped me stay centered and calm. Certain affirmations seemed to strike me as right on target this morning.
While this might violate some copyright of David Richo's I'll beg forgiveness from him should that be necessary: Here are my recollections of Richo's fear affirmations (I've bracketed [] any modifications or additions to his words -- I oftentimes modify the words of something I've memorized just to make it a little more "mine" or more personal):
1. I trust my true fears to give me signals of danger.
2. I admit that I also have false fears and worries.
3. I feel compassion toward myself for all the years I’ve been afraid.
4. I forgive those who hypnotized me into unreal fears.
5. I suggest now to myself, over and over, that I am freeing myself from fear.
6. I have fearlessness to match my fear.
7. I trust my powers and resourcefulness as a man.
8. I trust my abundant creativity.
9. I trust the strength that opens and blooms in me when I face a threat.
10. I believe in myself as a man who handles what comes his way…today.
11. I know how to rise to a challenge.
12. I am more and more aware of how I hold fear in my body.
13. I stop storing fear in my body.
14. Now I relax those holding places.
15. I open my body to joy and serenity.
16. I release my body from the clench of fear.
17. I relax those parts of me that hold on to fear the most.
18. I let go of the stresses and tensions that come from fear.
19. I let go of fear based thoughts.
20. I let go of basing my decisions on fear.
21. I stop listening to those who want to [export] their fears into me.
22. I let go of finding something to fear in everything.
23. I let go of fear and fearing and believing that everything is fearsome.
24. I let go of the primitive ways I have of catastrophizing: e.g., the fear belief: it will always be this way!
25. I am more and more aware of my instant reflex fear reactions.
26. I accept that I have habituated myself to a certain level of adrenaline.
27. I admit that I oftentimes choose the adrenaline rush that comes with the dramas of fear and desire.
28. I forgo this stressful excitement and choose sane and serene liveliness.
29. I let go of the obsessive thoughts about how the worst may happen.
30. I trust myself always to have an alternative.
31. I see the humor in my fears.
32. I see the humor in my exaggerated responses to unreal dangers.
33. I find a humorous dimension in every fear.
34. I find a humorous response to every fear.
35. I play with the pain of fear.
36. I smile at my scared ego with tough love.
37. I am convinced of my abilities to handle situations and people that scare me.
38. I am more and more aware of how what happens or has happened is being faced, integrated or released.
39. I have self-healing power AND I seek and find support from outside sources.
40. I have an enormous capacity for rebuilding, restoring and transcending.
41. I am more and more sure of my abilities.
42. I am less and less scared by what happens, by what has happened, by what will happen.
43. I trust myself.
44. I trust the uncanny timing that I keep noticing in my life.
45. I love how I awake, or change, or resolve, or complete at just the right moment.
46. Nothing forces me; nothing stops me.
47. I let go of any fear of nature.
48. I let go of my fear of natural disasters.
49. I let go of my fears of sickness, accident, old age and death.
50. I cease being afraid of knowing, having or showing my feelings.
51. I let go of the fear of failure and of success.
52. I let go of the fears behind my guilt and shame.
53. I let go of the fear of aloneness or of having time on my hands.
54. I let go of the fear of abandonment.
55. I let go of the fear of engulfment.
56. I let go of the fear of closeness.
57. I let go of the fear of commitment.
58. I let go of the fear of being betrayed.
59. I let go of the fear of being cheated or robbed.
60. I let go of the fear of giving, receiving; beginnings, endings; comings, goings; scarcity, abundance; saying no, saying yes.
61. I let go of the fear of any person.
62. I let go of the fear of loving.
63. I let go of the fear of being loved.
64. I let go of the fear of losing: losing money, losing face, losing freedom, losing friends, losing family members, losing respect, losing status, losing my job, losing out!
65. I let go of the fear of having to grieve.
66. I keep letting go; I keep going on.
67. I let go of my paranoia.
68. I give up my phobic rituals.
69. I let go of my performance fears.
70. I let go of my sexual fears.
71. I let go of my fears about my adequacy as a parent or child; worker or manager; partner, [lover] or friend; [sponsor or sponsee].
72. I let go of the need for control.
73. I acknowledge control as a mask for my fear.
74. I let go of the need to be right, to be first, to be perfect.
75. I let go of the belief that I am entitled to be taken care of.
76. I let go of the fears about the 5 conditions of existence:
a. I accept that I may sometimes lose.77. I am flexible enough to accept life as it is, forgiving enough to accept life as it has been, [open enough to welcome life as it happens].
b. I accept that things change and end.
c. I accept that pain is part of human growth.
d. I accept that things are not always fair.
e. I accept that people will lie to me, betray me, or not be loyal to me.
78. I drop the need for or the belief in a personal exemption from the conditions of my existence.
79. I acknowledge my present predicament as a path.
80. I trust a design in spite of the display.
81. I let go of more than fate can take.
82. I appreciate how everything works out for me.
83. I appreciate the graces that everywhere surround and enrich my life.
84. I find an alternative always exists behind the apparent dead end of fear.
85. I open myself to love, to people, to events.
86. I accept the love that awaits me everywhere.
87. I feel deeply loved by people near and far, living and dead.
88. I feel loved and watched over by my higher power.
89. I believe I have an important destiny, that I am living in accord with it, that I will survive to fulfill it.
90. I let myself feel the full measure of the joy I was meant to feel: the joy of living without fear.
91. I let fear go, I let joy in.
92. I let fear go, I let love in.
93. I let fears go and I expand my sensibilities.
94. I am more and more aware of others fears, more and more sensitive to them, more and more compassionate toward them.
95. I am more and more acceptant of all kinds of people
96. I enlarge my circle of love to include every living being and I show them love.
97. I am more and more courageous in my program of dealing with fear:
a. I let go of the need for control98. I have pluck and wit!
b. I let the chips fall where they may
c. I admit my fears
d. I feel my fears by letting them flow through me
e. I act as if I were free from fear
f. I see the humor in my fears
g. I expand my circle of love to include myself and everyone
99. I let go of my defenses.
100. I defend myself.
101. I am non-violent.
102. I am intrepid under fire.
103. I am a hero: I feel pain in my life and am transformed by it.
104. I am undaunted by situations and people that threaten me.
105. I let people’s attempts to menace me fall flat.
106. I give up running from a threat.
107. I give up shrinking from a fight.
108. I show grace under pressure.
109. I stop running; I stop hiding.
110. More and more of my fears are becoming healthy excitement.
111. I meet danger face to face.
112. I stand up for a fight.
113. I take the bull by the horns.
114. I walk the gauntlet.
115. I put my head in the lion’s mouth.
116. I stick to my guns and hold my fire.
117. An automatic courage arises in me when I face a threat.
118. I dare to show myself as I am: afraid and courageous.
119. I hereby release the courage that has lain hidden within me.
120. I am thankful for the gift of fortitude.
121. I let go of hesitation and self-doubt.
122. I am hardy in the face of fear.
123. I have grit, stamina and toughness.
124. I take risks and always act with responsibility and grace.
125. I let go of the need to be different.
126. I let go of the fear of others expectations.
127. I cease being intimidated by others anger.
128. I let go of the fear of what might happen if others do not like me.
129. I let go of the fear of false accusation.
130. I let go of the fear of doing it his, her or their way.
131. I acknowledge that behind my excessive sense of obligation is the fear of my own freedom.
132. I let go of the horror about disapproval, ridicule or rejection.
133. I dare to stop auditioning for people’s approval.
134. I dare to give up my act.
135. I give up all my poses, pretences and posturings.
136. I dare to be myself.
137. I acknowledge that behind my fear of self-disclosure is a fear of freedom.
138. I dare to show my hand, to show my inclinations, to show my enthusiasms.
139. I let my every word, feeling and deed reflect me, as I truly am.
140. I love being found out: that is, caught in the act of being my authentic self.
141. I explore the farthest reaches of my identity.
142. I live my life according to my deepest needs and wishes.
143. I let go of the need to correct people’s impressions of me.
144. I stop being afraid of my own power.
145. I am irrepressible.
146. I draw upon the ever renewing sources of lively energy within me.
147. I am great hearted and bold spirited.
148. I dare to give of myself unconditionally, and…
149. I dare to be unconditionally committed to maintaining my own boundaries.
150. I open myself to the grace to know the difference.
151. I fling open the gates of my soul.
152. I set free joy, till now imprisoned by fear.
153. I set free love, till now imprisoned by fear.
154. I honor and evoke my animal powers, my human powers, my divine powers.
155. I let true love cast out all fear.
156. I face fear like the Buddha; I am the Buddha in the face of fear.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Nine Years...
With the exception of regular blogging, I've been pretty consistent in continuing to do what has helped me not only stay sober for over nine years now (my sobriety birthday is October 20, 2001) but also fashion a way of living that really is beyond my wildest imagination: lots of meetings, working with others, reading and meditation (memorizing/reciting mostly...).
The main reason behind my falling away from the regular blogging is that some life issues have arisen in the last month or two and they have been occupying a significant amount of my time and that time had to come from somewhere: blogging was it. The biggest thing that I've been dealing with is my mother's development of a progressive form of dementia over the last year or so. It's gotten to the point where someone had to step up and help her deal with the various aspects of this disease and to get help with getting it diagnosed and developing a plan of action. In terms of my recovery, I should note that before I got sober, I had not talked to my mother for almost 10 years! But in the process of working through the steps, I was able to eventually reach out to her and rebuild a relationship with her that has become quite strong over the last five or six years. I've been there for her as she's experienced some strokes, a heart attack and five way heart bypass surgery and now with this gradual loss of memory at 81 years old.
What surprises me is that I've really come to enjoy my times with my mother. That has never been true in our relationship: ever. She trusts me, enjoys spending time with me and always thanks me for all my help and assistance. What a blessing made possible by my recovery work!
As I've been going through all this with my mom, I've been consistent with my meetings, kept my commitments to my sponsees, checked in with my sponsors to keep them in the loop, and made time each day for maintaining my spiritual practices. I've even taken up some new things, like calling people I haven't seen in awhile and just checking in or calling people who I know are struggling with the "not drinking part of the program" and just offering to help in any way I can --- or just to talk if they feel like doing that. I've never been much of a phone person: but I decided to try something different and it's been paying off huge dividends.
Tonight I'm able to blog because my wife and youngest daughter are at the hospital waiting for my wife's sister to have her first baby. I'll head over sometime later this evening, but for now, I have time to just check in with this blog. Within the next month or so, I'll be joining my wife and eldest daughter and her husband for another trip to the hospital: that time to be there for the birth of our first grandchild. I don't like projecting out that far, but I can't help it. And I know I need to stay grounded in today: I can look toward the future and back at the past, but I have to be careful not to stare. It's staring at the past/future that throws me off kilter.
Anyway, I thought I would check in tonight with a quick blog before I head to the hospital.
Take care!
Mike L.
The main reason behind my falling away from the regular blogging is that some life issues have arisen in the last month or two and they have been occupying a significant amount of my time and that time had to come from somewhere: blogging was it. The biggest thing that I've been dealing with is my mother's development of a progressive form of dementia over the last year or so. It's gotten to the point where someone had to step up and help her deal with the various aspects of this disease and to get help with getting it diagnosed and developing a plan of action. In terms of my recovery, I should note that before I got sober, I had not talked to my mother for almost 10 years! But in the process of working through the steps, I was able to eventually reach out to her and rebuild a relationship with her that has become quite strong over the last five or six years. I've been there for her as she's experienced some strokes, a heart attack and five way heart bypass surgery and now with this gradual loss of memory at 81 years old.
What surprises me is that I've really come to enjoy my times with my mother. That has never been true in our relationship: ever. She trusts me, enjoys spending time with me and always thanks me for all my help and assistance. What a blessing made possible by my recovery work!
As I've been going through all this with my mom, I've been consistent with my meetings, kept my commitments to my sponsees, checked in with my sponsors to keep them in the loop, and made time each day for maintaining my spiritual practices. I've even taken up some new things, like calling people I haven't seen in awhile and just checking in or calling people who I know are struggling with the "not drinking part of the program" and just offering to help in any way I can --- or just to talk if they feel like doing that. I've never been much of a phone person: but I decided to try something different and it's been paying off huge dividends.
Tonight I'm able to blog because my wife and youngest daughter are at the hospital waiting for my wife's sister to have her first baby. I'll head over sometime later this evening, but for now, I have time to just check in with this blog. Within the next month or so, I'll be joining my wife and eldest daughter and her husband for another trip to the hospital: that time to be there for the birth of our first grandchild. I don't like projecting out that far, but I can't help it. And I know I need to stay grounded in today: I can look toward the future and back at the past, but I have to be careful not to stare. It's staring at the past/future that throws me off kilter.
Anyway, I thought I would check in tonight with a quick blog before I head to the hospital.
Take care!
Mike L.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
