Sunday, October 12, 2008

The Mystery of the Big Book's Missing 2nd Step

Not sure if anyone has noticed this little detail of the Big Book: Chapters 3 through 7 are a narrative journey through all 12 of the steps and at each point in the journey, author highlights the point in the journey when each steps occurs in this narrative:

Step 1: p. 30: "We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery."
Step 2: ???
Step 3: p. 60: "Being convinced, we were at Step Three, which is that we decided to turn our will and our life over to God as we understood Him."
Step 3: p.61: "We were now at Step Three."
Step 4: p.64: "This was Step Four. "
Step 5: p. 72: "This brings us to the Fifth Step in the program of recovery mentioned in the preceding chapter."
Step 6: p. 76: "If we can answer to our satisfaction, we then look at Step Six. "
Step 7: p. 76: "We have then completed Step Seven."
Step 8 & 9: p. 76: "Let's look at Steps Eight and Nine."
Step 10: p. 84: "This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along."
Step 11: p. 85: "Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation."
Step 12: p.89: "This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics!"

What's interesting to an obsessive person like me is that not only is there no similar statement about Step 2, but there are two such references to Step 3. Where's Step 2? Did the first of the two statements re: Step 3 contain a typo? Did they mean to say, "Being convinced, we were at Step 2..."?

After chewing on this puzzle for some time, I've come to believe first, that the writers of the Big Book were slightly less obsessive as me and, second, that Step 2's statement is actually hidden in the line found on page 59: "Being convinced, we were now at Step 3....".

The phrase "Being convinced" seems awfully similar to the summary version of Step 2 found on page 58, "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." "Being convinced" seems synonymous to "came to believe."

Now when I hear "How it Works" read at a meeting of AA, I always think about the next line that follows: Being convinced (That it Works!), we were now at Step 3. And if we're now at Step 3, what did we just finish? Well, Step 2 of course!

For me, Step 2 does not really deal with the issue of God or my belief/non-belief in God. It really had nothing to do with God: Step 2 happened for me around the time in my recovery when I realized that I had become convinced that this process actually could work for me and allow me to stay sober. For a long time prior to that point in time, sobriety had simply been impossible. Then, quite by accident it seemed, I woke up after my last drink and realized that the reason "stopping drinking" was impossible for me was the fact that I was an alcoholic. That's why it was impossible for me to stop drinking. In fact, that's why "I" am still incapable of "stopping" drinking. What I discovered that morning, almost 7 years ago, was that while I couldn't stop drinking, I could start staying sober, one day at a time.

Some months after that morning, after many many meetings of AA and watching the miracle occurring in others lives, I gradually became convinced that sobriety and recovery were possible. When I realized that, I knew that the 2nd Step had been completed and I was finally ready to move on to Step 3.

Take care!

Mike L.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I believe it's on page 47, paragraph 2 - Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe, that there is a Power greater
than myself?

Anonymous said...

The entire chapter to the agnostic is step 2, not just 1 line on page 47

Mike L. said...

Anonymous is correct, except that it would be more accurate to say that the 2nd step begins with the Chapter called "We Agnostics" but it doesn't conclude that discussion until page 60 where it says, "Being convinced, we were now at Step 3...." If we are "now" at Step 3, it seems to me that we must have just concluded our discussion of Step 2.

Mike "the Nitpicky" L.