Monday, November 1, 2010

Nine Years...

With the exception of regular blogging, I've been pretty consistent in continuing to do what has helped me not only stay sober for over nine years now (my sobriety birthday is October 20, 2001) but also fashion a way of living that really is beyond my wildest imagination:  lots of meetings, working with others, reading and meditation (memorizing/reciting mostly...). 

The main reason behind my falling away from the regular blogging is that some life issues have arisen in the last month or two and they have been occupying a significant amount of my time and that time had to come from somewhere: blogging was it.  The biggest thing that I've been dealing with is my mother's development of a progressive form of dementia over the last year or so.  It's gotten to the point where someone had to step up and help her deal with the various aspects of this disease and to get help with getting it diagnosed and developing a plan of action.  In terms of my recovery, I should note that before I got sober, I had not talked to my mother for almost 10 years!  But in the process of working through the steps, I was able to eventually reach out to her and rebuild a relationship with her that has become quite strong over the last five or six years.  I've been there for her as she's experienced some strokes, a heart attack and five way heart bypass surgery and now with this gradual loss of memory at 81 years old.

What surprises me is that I've really come to enjoy my times with my mother.  That has never been true in our relationship: ever.  She trusts me, enjoys spending time with me and always thanks me for all my help and assistance.  What a blessing made possible by my recovery work!

As I've been going through all this with my mom, I've been consistent with my meetings, kept my commitments to my sponsees, checked in with my sponsors to keep them in the loop, and made time each day for maintaining my spiritual practices.  I've even taken up some new things, like calling people I haven't seen in awhile and just checking in or calling people who I know are struggling with the "not drinking part of the program" and just offering to help in any way I can --- or just to talk if they feel like doing that.  I've never been much of a phone person: but I decided to try something different and it's been paying off huge dividends.

Tonight I'm able to blog because my wife and youngest daughter are at the hospital waiting for my wife's sister to have her first baby.  I'll head over sometime later this evening, but for now, I have time to just check in with this blog.  Within the next month or so, I'll be joining my wife and eldest daughter and her husband for another trip to the hospital: that time to be there for the birth of our first grandchild.  I don't like projecting out that far, but I can't help it.  And I know I need to stay grounded in today:  I can look toward the future and back at the past, but I have to be careful not to stare.  It's staring at the past/future that throws me off kilter.

Anyway, I thought I would check in tonight with a quick blog before I head to the hospital. 

Take care!

Mike L.

5 comments:

johnd said...

Happy Birthday Mike congratulations. Sobriety certainly gives us a life worth living.

An Irish Friend of Bill said...

yaaay happy birthday Mr Mike :)

I love that you are being selfless with your mother in such a difficult situation. That is a worthy goal, and proof that you are relentlessly on track :)

Another sober year. May there be many more Mike :)

Anonymous said...

TEST

Just J in VA said...

Congratulations for making it nine years. I'm sorry we didn't get more opportunity to chat when I was back in town. It sounds like you've got your hands full. But in a way, doesn't it seem now like all your life has been preparation for facing this challenge? And you are ready, and you are a success. Don't give up before the miracle happens.

As for me, today I wake up and ask God to help me not judge anyone or anything today. I've discovered that anytime someone or something doesn't go according to my plan, I get a resentment. "I'm resentful at [] because [insert judgment here]." If judgment is removed, I'm forced to either accept things as they are, forgive myself and/or others, or change. That just happened to be my path.

I heard something great in a meeting out here. I had always thought that I knew the difference between a demand and a request (reference seventh step). Apparently, I didn't. But I was informed that there is a simple test: Can I accept "no"? If I can, it is a request. If I cannot, it is a demand.

Congratulations on nine years. Hope to see you again in the spring or summer. Keep updating the blog!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Mike and congradulations! I just found your blog today and I can see it is going to be a great help to me. Love the prayers and things on your side bar. I have one year and I am grateful for it. Best Wishes, Joyce