AA Recovery: A form of brain washing...

I've been sober just over six years now and recently I've been thinking that the process of my recovery over the last six years has involved a form of brain washing. Not in the usual sense of having my brain manipulated by some evil force, but in the sense of spiritual/intellectual cleansing. How did that happen? Well, I think that's ultimately going to be the purpose of this new blog site that I just created today....as a proactive pre-New Year's resolution.

Recently, I was at an AA meeting in Danville, CA and we were discussing the 12th step... After sitting down in the meeting, it was one I'd never been to before, I saw this older Scottish man sitting across from me. I remembered him from one of my first AA meetings back in late 2001. I'd been going to one Friday night meeting for several weeks and at this meeting, they always started off with everyone saying the AA Preamble (Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women....) together. Before these meetings, someone placed little cards on the seats with the Preamble printed on them (along with the 12 steps, 12 traditions and the Serenity Prayer..). Anyway, one night I noticed this older gentleman with a beautiful Scottish accent and who never used one of the cards: he recited the Preamble from memory. It struck me that this reading must mean something very special to him.

He never knew that I noticed. But I did. In fact, I stole one of those cards and it ended up changing my who life and my recovery. What I did was place that card in my car and as I drove to work each day (I commuted from Concord, CA to Sacramento, CA every day...65 miles each way) I began memorizing each of the writings on that card: the preamble, the steps, the traditions, the serenity prayer. I didn't know I was going to do all of them. But I did...and much much more.

It began by memorizing the Preamble: I just started reciting a line or phrase from the beginning and repeated it again and again until I knew it. Then I would add a little more...repeat it again and again. Eventually, I'd know the whole Preamble by memory. Over days and weeks, I came to know the Preamble by heart.

At this meeting last week, I remembered back to what I learned from this man... During the meeting he shared that in terms of 12th step work, he'd often found that some of his best work was done without his knowledge. He just focused on living his life the best he could, helped others when he could and left the results to something other than him.

I walked up to him after the meeting and let him know that he'd helped me six years ago....and that the habit of memorizing things like the Preamble had started me down a path of meditation which involved memorizing many different things over the last six years...reciting them to myself while driving to/from Sacramento and being brainwashed without even knowing it.

He smiled and thanked me for sharing that story. I love AA most of all for the stories.

Mike L.