Who Said You Can't Think Your Way Into Right Action?

Over the last six years, at different times I've heard repeated the statement made that "you can't think your way into right acting, you have to act your way into right thinking." Now, you know me well enough by now that I only share that so that I can disagree with it. You're correcto mundo.



While I understand that we, especially when we're new, sometimes get stuck in navel gazing and self-analysis to the point that we get stuck in "analysis paralysis". And that to overcome that, we sometimes have to act our way out of a rut or two, even if we don't completely understand all the logical or meaningful reasons for doing so. But I've some times gotten the impression that some people are taking this AA home spun wisdom a little too far.... Like taking it to mean that our thinking is not to be trusted (can't fix a broken thinker with the same broken thinker) and that we just need to do what we're told (even if it's stated in the form of a suggestion). That sort of blind faith or blind obedience has never been something I've been willing or able to subscribe to. I know, you're not surprised.



Recently, I've been reflecting over my last six years of recovery and what have been the key things that have not only kept me sober but also gave me a quality of life that far exceeds whatever I might have hoped for when I first got sober.... Sure, all of the familiar "keys" are in my list: Steps, Sponsor, Meetings (and not drinking in between), Service, Meditation (I'm not big into Prayer....it's hard for an agnostic to pray...), etc. But there is another "key" part of my program that sort of relates to this "thinking vs. action" topic and that's the memory work that I've been doing almost since the very beginning of my recovery.


By memory work (I've written previously on this topic, "AA Recovery: A form of brain washing...") I mean the process memorizing various things, sometimes passages from the Big Book or 12X12, but also other AA and non-AA literature. The process of memorizing means taking some passage or prayer, and repeating the first sentence or phrase again and again until I can say it from memory without looking at the book or paper. Once I memorize the first phrase/line, I then begin repeating the second phrase or sentence until I can say it from memory. Then I repeat the first and the second line until I have them down... Then I go to the next phrase or sentence... As in the shampoo instructions I read years ago, "Repeat until done."

What happens for me, is this process puts the content of the passage into my consciousness, so deep it seems that eventually becomes a part of my "intuition." In effect, the process has re-trained my brain so that it now interprets the reality before me in much different, and generally, much more healthy ways.

Here's an example: Before Christmas, I bought a book that I just stumbled on while I was out shopping for books for my wife. The book is called "Everyday Commitments" by David Richo. I bought it not for my wife, but for me. She might have liked it, but that didn't matter. I liked it and I bought it for me. It was just a collection of 52 "affirmations" or commitments that this buddhist teacher/lecturer (he's also a psychologist) came up with that helped him keep more focused on what Buddhist's refer to as "Right Action" and "Right Thinking". The book was setup so that each commitment has a title, the commitment and then a brief reflection on that commitment. I suppose that the book could be used as a daily meditation book, and one could easily focus on one commitment per week for an entire year. But not me, I am far too obsessed for that. I began memorizing these commitments before Christmas and I just finished the task of memorizing all 52 commitments this last week.

But the example has to do with Commitment #25: "Gossip Free: I am avoiding gossip and the spreading of rumors. Now, when I have something to say about someone, I say it to them directly." When I first memorized this commitment, I thought it quite silly and that it should be a no-brainer to incorporate this value into my daily life. Wrong!!!! It turned out that this commitment was one that was and is terribly difficult for me to abide by in my daily life, at home and at work. But what ended up happening is that after repeated failures, I had one surprising and "unthinking" success!

I received an email from a consulting company who was participating in a bid process which I was overseeing. I'd let this company into the bidding process late because I'd neglected to include them in the list of qualified bidders.... By doing so, I got some flak from other members of my team because I was giving this consulting company a break.... I did it anyway because it was my error that kept them out of the process and I informed them that while they were allowed into the process, they would have to get their proposal in on time, just like all the other bidders. Anyway, last week, the sales guy for this consulting company informed me that they had elected not to participate in our bid process and then went on to lecture me on how great of a company they were and that they were "the best" and that they didn't waste time getting involved competitive bidding processes like this. Instead, they like being "partners" with their clients.

The email was sent to my entire time and within minutes of being received, people on my team began bad-mouthing this sales guy and making fun of him. But while they were doing that, I decided to just respond to his email and express my disappointment with his decision and my puzzlement over this approach to getting new business opporunities. I then recounted how 28 years ago, I asked a woman out for our first date and that the next week, 28 years after our first date, she and I were going out for another date to celebrate our 27 years of marriage. I suggested that he and his company go through the standard process of getting into a long term "partnership" by going out on a date first and not expecting the true partnership to magically happen just because "I'm the best there is!". My wife would not have accepted such a claim of mine then (or now) and I'm certainly not willing to accept his claim on the behalf of his company.

It was hours later that it dawned on me that the "memorized" commitment to avoid gossip and the spreading of rumors actually "leaked" into my actions without my really thinking about it. I guess my point is that I think that you can "memorize" yourself into right action....

Take care!

Mike L.