Searching for Outside Solutions to Inside Problems

What we alcoholics have in common with each other is that we are people who routinely look for outside solutions to inside problems. If there's a mental aspect of this disease, I think that this is it. Personally, I'm not sure this isn't really part of the human condition...we alcoholics just take this tendency down a rather unique and sometimes deadly path.

The way this typically works for me is that I begin by mistakenly assuming that my "problem" has an outside cause. Someone said something and these "words" hurt me or my feelings. Some event occurred and I feel pain (sadness, grief, anger, etc.) as a result. Once that's firmly in my mind, I then start looking for a solution to that external problem and I naturally begin by looking outside of myself. I mean, why not! The problem's out there, the solution must be also!

Unfortunately (or fortunately!) the problem isn't caused by some external source. While the words and the events are out there, they don't actually hurt me. What hurts me is the thought that is in my head and which attaches itself to my perception of reality, inside and out.

Someone calls me an idiot! That doesn't hurt unless I grab on to that thought and believe it or resist it. If I just listen to the statement that I'm an idiot, not believing or resisting, it doesn't hurt. I haven't given it any weight. Someone thinks I'm an idiot! Wow! I've thought that also at times! What else do they think? Why are they sharing this insight with me now? They seem angry, I wonder why? What can I do to help them?

So the problem is "internal" and if that's true, then I suspect that the solution is there also.

I read somewhere recently (I think it was a De Mello book...) that the most important journey in a person's life has no distance. And if that's true, then the ultimate truth is that there really is no problem! We are fish frantically searching for water, not realizing that it's all around and in us.

Take care!

Mike L.