I've been chewing over my last post about the 3rd Tradition and the fact that I haven't had a desire to stop drinking for a long time --- in fact, that desire stopped two days before my first meeting of AA. Seemingly on its own.
What I've concluded is that the desire to stop drinking is an event that happens and once it does, that person has achieved the one thing that is required for AA membership and that once this happens, that welcome is extended to them for as long as they want. Once you've walked in the doors and choose to be one of us, then that membership is, in my opinion, permanent. At least so far as you want to remain a member.
For me, that's what happened. I had a desire to stop and for a variety of reasons, I woke up one morning and realized that my inability to stop was because I was (and am) an alcoholic. Looking back, after having come into the rooms of AA, I realized fairly soon that what happened that morning wasn't that "I stopped" --- what happened, to my utter surprise (even now!), was that I stopped trying to stop (some call this "surrender") and, in effect, I stopped stopping.
I began trying to stay sober --- one day at a time. And that, amazingly, has worked for me for over 8 years.
So, in case you were wondering: I do now consider myself a legitimate member of AA. No one can take that from me, but me.
Take care!
Mike L.
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