Just in Case You Didn't Know...

I really do love Alcoholics Anonymous. I really do.

I was reading another recovery blog yesterday and it contained a long diatribe against the "disease concept" of alcoholism and interwoven into the argument were constant negative shots against AA. I am very aware of the ongoing dispute between those who believe alcoholism is a "disease" and those for whom this is a "choice". But what struck me was that the author was so adamant in his dislike of AA. There was nothing good in it and nothing good has come from it.

I then looked at my own blog, especially my recent "dumbest things heard in AA meeting" blogs and realized that I might be coming across in the same way. I do love AA no matter how much I might want to distance myself from some of those who understand AA to be something far different than it is for me. But you see, that's why I love AA so much. It allows me to continue being a full fledged member while I speak up against some of what I consider to be distortions in how it's being played out by other members. I really think this is the first group where I might be able to stay!

One thing that the article's author said of AA is that it has certain "dogma" that members must believe. While I know that there may be certain beliefs that some members or groups would be unanimous in supporting or disputing, the fact is that there are no dogmas in AA. There's nothing you can believe that would get you excommunicated from AA. Nothing. Worse case is that a particular group might vote you out of their meeting, but there's nothing keeping you from going to another meeting or, for that matter, starting another meeting on your own. All you need to do is find another suffering alcoholic with a desire to stop drinking --- and with enough patience to deal with your bullshit. I suspect that you'll need to lay down your sword in terms of whatever burr you have up your saddle long enough to reach out to this other alcoholic who is struggling with the life and death issue of how to stop drinking. But that will be within your reach if you want to do it.

I've belonged to organizations which have dogmas and they've never gone over well with me. AA's the first organization which seems to have a unlimited level of tolerance for those with different beliefs and/or ways of seeing things. While most members of AA will probably side with the "disease" concept, I'm sure that there will be a significant number who would love to sit down with other alcoholics who have come to an opposite conclusion on this matter. Me for example.

I certainly see where the disease argument can be misused to escape personal responsibility for our actions. While I personally don't think I chose to be an alcoholic, I did freely choose to drink alcohol. At some point, I think that my freedom to choose to drink started to diminish due to the disease of alcoholism: that is, my body was reacting differently to alcohol than the body of a non-alcoholic. That said, I can still agree with the "choice" view of things: I was choosing to drink even though I had the disease of alcoholism. For me, it was more of an issue of "diminished capacity" to make a free choice.

Anyway, I wanted to clarify where I stand with AA today. My blog has been a safe place for me to talk about some things that bother me about AA or about other AAers --- but nothing I've said here in cyberspace is something that I haven't already said in AA meetings. And in most all of the meetings I go into, I feel like Norm walking into Cheers. I'm welcomed.

I go to a large number of meetings each week and in addition to those which I consider my "home groups" I also go to meetings where I'm not known or to meetings where I'm sure to disagree with the general outlook of those present. I like going into such meetings, not to be disagreeable (there's really no point in doing that!) but to feel apart of that fellowship, to listen to other views, to find tolerance and acceptance within myself and within others. But mostly, because I'm in need of being around other suffering alcoholics.

And I've found that there's a very high probability of finding such suffering alcoholics in AA meetings. Haven't found one yet without at least one other suffering alcoholic.

So, if I haven't said it often enough: thank you Bill and Dr. Bob! The miracle that happened around that kitchen table has continued to grow and multiply and it's in large part due to the basic guidelines you two fashioned way back when.

Take care.

Mike L.