Yet Another Dumbest Thing I've Heard in a AA Meeting

I guess this is becoming something of an ongoing series, Dumbest Things I've Heard in AA Meetings. This will be volume 3 or the 15th Dumbest Thing: I Finally Got Tired of Working "My Program" and Started Working "The Program" (as found in the 1st 164 pages of the Book) of Alcoholics Anonymous. Once someone makes this statement, either about themselves or about someone else (e.g., are you tired of working "your program" yet? If so, maybe you'd like to try "the program of AA"?) they then point out the specifics of "the program" which will usually be something along these lines: work the steps, get a sponsor, get a higher power and get into service. Well, if that's the program as defined in the 1st 164 pages, then we'll need to take out the "get a sponsor" piece of the program because the word "sponsor" or "sponsorship" isn't to be found in the 1st 164 pages. So much for "The Program".

The idea that there is a single and narrowly defined program of AA irks me no end and seems go against the very foundations of what Bill, Dr. Bob and the early members of AA discovered to work. It's clear to me (I suppose as clear as the opposite view is to those who disagree with me) that the program that's outlined in the book is very generalized and designed to be customized by each person who decides to try it out.

As an organization, we've had no reticence in letting other 12 step fellowships take these steps and use them in other non-alcoholic contexts. Take 'em! Use them in any way that you find works for you! And isn't it strange that this dogmatic view of AA is not found in any official AA literature? Why's this narrow view of AA's program limited only to stories about single individuals and what they said to someone sometime?

In fact, I most recently read about an instance of this happening when someone who follows this blog went to her 2nd meeting and was approached by an oldtimer who asked her if she was tired of working "her program"? What was strange to me is that except for that one idiot, this woman heard all sorts of good and encouraging things said at that meeting: but it seems all she walked away with was the narrowness of this one guy's view and how uncomfortable it made her feel. She'd almost completely forgotten all the good things she had heard in that same meeting.

Find out what works for you and what does not. We can't tell you what to do because (1) that doesn't seem to work for people like us (and we are all about effectiveness!) and (2) we aren't you and what works for any one of us might get you drunk! All I can tell you is what has (and hasn't) worked for me. All "we" can tell you is what has worked for many of us --- but that's not to say that it will work for you. But it might. And you might want to give this a shot if what you've been trying hasn't been working for you. We've got lots of suggestions, so if one thing doesn't work, keep listening and you may hear someone tell your story and it might include some other tool that will work for you.

Or, think completely outside of the box: that's what Bill and Dr. Bob did. And that's what they suggested that others do on page 164: "Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us." Why is it that we're afraid to admit that we know only a little? That new things might be disclosed to us and others? Or even that old things might actually work (or not work)? We're a fearful lot.

Thank God we don't have to do this alone. Or perfectly. Or the exact way that others do it.

Find your program. Find your Truth. I think that you'll find that most of us a sitting here cheering you on and hoping that you find something that works for you and that when you do find something that does work, that you'll share it with us so that we might give it a shot ourselves. So go ahead and think outside the box. And don't be afraid of thinking in the box either. Who knows, it (whatever that is) might very well work. Even though "sponsor" is not in the first 164 pages, it has been something that has been helpful to me.

Take care!

Mike L.