MikeL's Recovery Blog: Three Most Important Days for the Recoverying Alcoholic

Monday, August 17, 2009

Three Most Important Days for the Recoverying Alcoholic

When I begin sponsoring someone, I always ask them for their "Day Zero" date. It's the first day in their recovery: the day they didn't put any more alcohol or other drugs into their system. A Day Zero begins just after midnight (technically, 00:00:01 or 12:00:01 o'clock) and ends, assuming no alcohol/drugs ingested that day, at midnight. Day Zero is one of the most most important days in a recovering alcoholic's life.

Another very important day is "Day One" which most people refer to as the day they "got" sober. Interestingly enough, Day Zero and Day One will equal each other by the end of the day. I always enter a "Day Zero" event in my Outlook calendar for each of my sponsees, setting that event to remind me each month about this milestone so that I can celebrate with them when that happens. If it doesn't, I just hope to create a new one when that happens.

The last day of most importance for the recovering alcoholic? Today. Ultimately, it's the most important day for me. Today. Full of possibilities. Day Zero and Day One are both still extremely important to me, because without them, I would have all the possibilities before me now. I'd be back in the darkness, without hope.

Take care, Today!

Mike L.

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List of Favorite Passages

1. Serenity Prayer (My version): God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, wisdom to know the difference and love to do the next right thing.
2. The AA Preamble (or Definition of AA): Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for AA membership, we are self-supporting through our own contributions. AA is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution, does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and to help others recover from alcoholism.
3. The Third Step Prayer (My version): God, I offer myself to you to build with me and to do with me as you will. Take away my difficulties, or not, that victory or defeat over them may bear witness to those I would help of your power, your powerlessness, your love and your way of life. May I do your will always.
4. Thomas Merton’s “Dear God” Prayer: Dear God, I have no idea where I am going, I do not see the road ahead of me, I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself and the fact that I think that I am doing your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I know this: I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. I hope I have this desire in everything I do. I hope I never persist in anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this, you will always guide me by the right path, though I may know nothing about it at the time. Therefore, I will trust you always, for though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not be afraid because I know that you will never leave me to face my troubles all alone.
5. Dr. Earle’s “Dear God” Prayer: Dear God, Help me to realize this day that it is your will, not mine, that is to be done, and then do it! Help me to accept myself as I am, but to remain hopeful that I may become better! Help me to accept, to love and to forgive others, but to ask for absolutely nothing in return. Help me to be grateful for what I have and to accept more only if you will it. Help me to receive tenderness as well as give it. Help me to be honest and sincere with myself but to remember with a smile how little I am. Help me above all to have utter faith in you my friend and leader. Help to recreate the mood of this prayer every 24 hours.
6. The 23rd Psalm (My version): The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me down the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. My heart overflows. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the presence of God forever.
7. “The Guest House” by Rumi:This being human is a guest house, every morning, a new arrival. A joy, a depression, a meanness: Welcome and entertain them all, even if they are a crowd of sorrows who violently sweep your house empty of all its furniture. Still treat each guest honorably; they may be clearing you out for some new delight. The dark thought, the shame, the malice: meet them at the door laughing and invite them in. Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.
8. Humility (Dr. Bob gave Sr. Ignatia a plaque with this on it, saying that he thought any alcoholic who acquired this sort of humility would do well in their sobriety): Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sure. To wonder at nothing done to me; to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when no one praises me. And when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in a shut the door and kneel to my father in secret and be at peace. As in a deep sea of calmness where all around and about me there is seeming trouble.
9. Robert Pirsig’s “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance”: So the thing to do when working on a motorcycle, as in any other task, is to cultivate the peace of mind which does not separate one’s self from one’s surroundings. When that is done successfully, then everything else follows naturally. Peace of mind produces right values. Right values produce right thoughts. Right thoughts produce right actions and right actions produce work which is a material manifestation for others to see of the serenity at the center of it all.
10. Maya Angelou quote: We did then what we knew how to do. When we knew better, we did better.
11. Suzuki Roshi’s Reply to Student’s Query: When the students asked, “You teach us to just sit when we sit, just eat when we eat. Is it possible for a Zen master to be just angry in the same way?” Suzuki Roshi replied, “You mean be just angry like the thunderstorm and be done when it passes?” And then, after pausing, added, “Ahhh, I wish I could do that!!”
12. Zen saying: You are perfect, just as you are. With all your flaws and problems, there’s no need to change anything. The only thing you need to change is the thought that you have to change!
13. Zen Saying: Watch the caterpillar become a butterfly: does it not transform? Is it because of effort that this happens? Why then do we think that we can change ourselves?
14. Zen saying: Live life with an open [or gentle…or kind…] heart. Erase judgment from your thoughts, live with compassion and practice understanding. Keep in mind that everyone is doing the very best they can and that if they knew better, they’d do better; therefore, be gentle. Now, practice that same gentleness with yourself! Know that you are doing the best you can in every situation and honor yourself with compassion. This simple thought will help you be less critical and more appreciative [or grateful!] of all that is.
15. Anthony DeMello (Awareness?): Put this program into action a thousand times: 1. Identify the negative feelings in you; 2. Realize that these feelings are in you, not in the world, not a part of external reality; 3. Know that these feelings are not an essential part of “I”, these things come and go; 4. Realize that when you change, everything changes! [Note: in the next chapter he goes on to say that by these statements, he does not mean to say that we have to change anything!]